Liz Erk (lizerk) wrote,
Liz Erk
lizerk

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"No thanks, he'll probably be as useless as you have been..."

Last night I fell asleep around 9:30 p.m. because I needed to be up at 4:50 a.m. Around 10:30, I was startled from sleep due to a really loud thudding noise.

Sarah sat up and yawned. Then her eyes flew open. "Is that a f*cking jackhammer??"

I got out of bed and fumbled around for my glasses. Shoving them on, I opened the bedroom door and was pretty much blinded by bright white light. The whole house was vibrating slightly.

I squinted and walked to the living room window at the front of the house. Two men were jackhammering the street right in front of my house. They were surrounded by a bunch of yellow trucks with loud humming generators and big, bright flood lights sat on top of each one, which accounted for the reason why my house was as bright as a summer's morning.

Sarah came up behind me. "What the hell are they doing?"

"I don't know, bunch of idiots," I said angrily. "I bet they're fixing that water problem."

"They've been doing stuff everyday here," Sarah said. "I wonder why they suddenly decided they need to jackhammer at this hour?"

"I'll call the police and find out," I said.

I went onto the Internet to look up the local PD, found the number and punched it into the phone.

"Watertown Police Department, this call's bei--" a woman answered, but I interrupted her.

"Hi, I want to know why the street directly in front of my house is getting jackhammered at 10:30 at night," I said.

"What?" she asked. "Wow, I can hear it. What street are you on?"

I told her where I was and she put me on hold. Within a couple minutes a man got on. "Are you calling about the work on your street?"

"Yes," I replied. "I want to know why the Department of Works suddenly felt compelled to wake me up at 10:30 at night when I have to get up at 4:50 a.m."

"Ma'am," he said. "The Department of Works has assessed the water situation over there and deemed it necessary to go under the road right away."

"Right away?" I asked incredulously. "We've had a 'water situation' for months, your Works people have been here over and over and then everyday since Monday. You're going to tell me they suddenly realized after all that that the appropriate measure was to wake up the whole damn neighborhood with jackhammers?"

"Ma'am," he said in the same monotone voice. "I can assure you they're doing what's deemed immediately necessary. The manager of the Department of Works is out there, you can go talk to him, if you want to."

"No thanks," I said. "I'm sure he'll probably be as useless as you have been."

And I promptly hung up.

"I can't believe you said that," Sarah said shaking her head.

"I don't care," I replied. "I'm exhausted, they're a bunch of assholes. I doubt they'd come arrest me. And if they did, I'd probably sleep better in jail, since it'd be quieter."

The racket stopped a little after midnight. I woke up at 4:50 and I currently look like I was punched in the eyes.

As I skated to the car this morning, I noticed they paved over the hole they dug. It was totally lumpy with big tire tracks running through it. In fact, the paving was so high up, my SUV ended up on an angle as I backed out of the driveway.

Idiots. I'll bet this is where my 2001 $2600 tax bill payment went.
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