Liz Erk (lizerk) wrote,
Liz Erk
lizerk

Lawn Troll for City Councilor

Sometimes I feel like the items that make the Boston news these days are not real, but instead are merely fictitious bits of comic relief sprinkled in with endless, dreary reports about the economy. Take, for instance, the news of Senator Dianne Wilkerson's arrest for accepting bribes. At face value, you'd say, "Wow, a Senator taking bribes? What a terrible abuse of power. I'm sure she'll be fired..." and move on.

No. We get this photo of Wilkerson stuffing said-bribes in her bra:



Then after Wilkerson is busted, she refuses to resign for weeks on end, subsequently staying in the news for making dumb statements about how the public needs her to finish out her term.

What happens after Wilkerson? Boston City Councilor Chuck Turner, another idiot, nabbed for the same thing. Observe shirt-stuffing photo:



So of course one might respond with, "Wow, another corruption case. Good, they'll get what's coming..." and move on.

No. We get David the Gnome making a spectacle of himself, shouting about unfair treatment in his best Reverend Wright impression:



“Chuck Turner is not going to take this lying down,” he roared as he addressed a crowd of dozens of supporters on City Hall Plaza. “Chuck Turner is going to speak truth to power.”

Of course you will, Chuck Turner. Why? Because clearly you feel you haven't embarrassed us enough.

Therefore I nominate this lawn troll as his replacement:



He looks just like Chuck Turner, except his hat is red. And unlike Chuck Turner, he can't say stupid things and he is using an obvious basket to collect what he wants instead of stuffing them under his shirt.

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