Liz Erk (lizerk) wrote,
Liz Erk
lizerk

Where Can You Go in Your Yenta Cart?

We've all seen the commercials touting how you can "get around, get around" and "go go go" in your Hoveround. My favorite is the one where they ask "where would you go in your Hoveround? The Statue of Liberty? The Grand Canyon? The family picnic?"

Well, let me tell you, those scooter drivers are not going to any of those places. But I did discover where they ARE going- Foxwoods Resort and Casino in Connecticut. And let me tell you, those powerchairs are NOT Hoverounds. No, they are, in fact, "Yenta Carts." And they are NOT for mobility, but rather speedy weapons savagely used to barrel through the casino in efforts to get to slot machines as fast as possible at all costs.

Recently I went to Foxwoods and discovered these facts first hand. I didn't get as many photos as I would have liked because I had my old crappy Palm Treo phone, so I will definitely snap more on my next visit. However, before I share what I do have, let me explain my official definition of what I mean by "Yenta Cart": Motorized missles disguised as mobility aids, largely driven by elderly "blue hairs" who zip from one slot to another, and are primarily interested in what everyone else's machines are doing but their own. If they see that you are winning a little bit of money, they roll in and comment on everything you are doing until you get up and leave.

These "Yenta Carts" can also be called "Wide Wagons":

For example, here is Buddha, scoping out his next machine:


What I was did not get was the photo of was him taking off like a shot through a crowd of people a few moments later.

And observe Bertha at the customer service desk:


Note Agnes, who probably needs the Yenta Cart, looking on.

I think the most priceless photo I took that day was of the escalator warning stickers:


The fact that they even have these means people had to have attempted to use the escalators with one of these. Now THAT would have been a great photo!

Ever wonder how one goes about powering up a Yenta Cart or Wide Wagon? Well wonder no more:


I had only even noticed this guy because he clipped me with his basket while rushing to grab that prime piece of electrical real estate.

So those commercials we see? They are nothing more than a facade meant to justify the existence of these mini-tanks that are used in kamikaze casino missions by Yentas and the overweight. Don't be fooled, Medicare and the AARP are in on it.


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Tags: foxwoods, hoveround, wide wagon, yenta cart
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