Liz Erk (lizerk) wrote,
Liz Erk
lizerk

  • Mood:

Please tell me...

...how did I get here? I mean really, is this my life??

I'm literally consumed by my work. I used to typically get up before the sun to workout or train the occasional a.m. client, but lately it's been to finish GC work. Then I go into the office from about 8:15 a.m. until 6:30 p.m., followed by HW most nights of the week until 11:00.

What I find kind of funny is that I get a second wind while at HW, whether it's the boring Fitness shift or my awesome Personal Training clients. That just goes to show where my passion lies...!

I don't think I entirely mind being so busy (well, okay, I mind it at times), but I mind the fact that I haven't been able to take care of myself. I haven't packed my own lunch in eons, leaving me to pick on the food that's stocked in the GC kitchen. It's mostly all "good stuff" (i.e.- cereal bars, nuts, oatmeal, granola, etc.), but not energy-boosting or the proper fuel that my body needs to sustain my crazy lifestyle. Cinnamon Toast Crunch with a banana and skim milk is *not* lunch, I don't care what anyone says.

I keep thinking about how sick I was about a month ago. My "ideal healthful way of life" never entirely recovered. And I'm scared of getting sick again. I don't sleep enough, my eating habits are rather poor (not atrocious, but nothing to brag about), and I barely get to workout. This has taken a HUGE toll on my alertness and energy levels.

I'm also really sad because I was supposed to be in P-Town with Tabs by now, but because of the CRAZY level of activity on all 3 of my accounts, I had to push my arrival time back to Friday afternoon.

*sigh*

Oh well. It's my life, so it's up to me to get a handle on things. I think taking small steps, like fixing myself proper meals for the day will help. Tomorrow morning I'm forcing a cardio workout in.

It's scary. Each morning I see the miserable, out of shape looking commuters that embark on the same corporate journey I do. And then I sit in my cubicle and see more of the same, except these are more than just nameless faces... these are my colleagues.

I grow sadder and sadder each day. I don't miss the fear and uncertainties that plagued my daily life when I was unemployed, but I do miss the mid-day bike rides, strength training sessions and PT clients. And I especially miss my sleep. Boy, despite being stressed, I was in pretty good shape, now that I look back on it all. AND I was tan, unlike the mid-summer ghost I appear to be now.

But, on a more positive note, I bought my girl plane tickets so she can visit me the week of Sept. 17th!!!!!! I am taking on a couple extra PT clients so I can do this. I'm so excited!!!! I can't wait to introduce her to all of my friends and, best of all, I can't wait to wrap my arms around her, look into her beautiful eyes, and tell her how much I love her.

Hee hee, the thought of that makes me smile even now as I stand here behind the Fitness Desk. It's amazing how an individual can make the world so much brighter for someone. I don't know what I did to deserve Monica, but I'm grateful such an amazing person is a part of my life.

And, quite frankly, sometimes being able to look at her pictures on my desk at work is my "sanity life line." Just seeing her smile is all I need to calm me. (Of course, sometimes I find myself launching into a daydream, which isn't exactly productive, but oh well...!! : ) )
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 1 comment