Liz Erk (lizerk) wrote,
Liz Erk
lizerk

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Airborne Erkspress: Destination Broadway...

So, for once I was grateful that I have a bite-happy kitten. Last night was the first night in well over a week that I passed 8 hours of sleep. I had set my alarm for 8:00 a.m., but I guess my body was going to milk a full night of sleep for all it's worth because the next thing I knew, "Chomp!" My right cheek immediately began to hurt.

Mia had bit me in the face. "Oo-oo-oo-oooo... Meowroooer..." she chortled as she hopped away and leaped off the bed on all 4's.

"Dammit, Mia...!" I shrieked, rubbing my face. Then I glanced at the clock.

9:26 a.m.

My heart nearly stopped as I suddenly heard the echo of my Dad's voice in my head, "If you're not here by 1:00, they're leaving without you. You guys have to be in the city by a certain time, so you need to be here by 1:00..."

It takes approximately 3 hours to drive to NY from my place. I had exactly 34 minutes to get dressed "to the nines" for a Broadway show, load up the car with my laundry (sheets, since I still haven't hooked up my dryer... I always bring items that I can't do at my house), feed Mia, and get on the road.

I literally moved at warp speed. By 9:58 I was turning the key in the ignition and roaring out of my driveway, wearing shiny black pants, a blue sheer silk shirt, a calf-length shiny fitted coat that matches my pants, and a totebag-style purse, and my hair styled extra nicely courtesy of a couple extra minutes of "quality time" with a rolling brush, heading for I-90 with my laundry in the back.

I was nearly airborne. I'm not kidding. My poor car was ready to lift off at any given moment with the way I had an average speed of 88 up until Hartford, even singing on top of my lungs. I was doing great in terms of time.

Then I was dead stopped in traffic. Someone decided that today was a great day to tear up Route 84, closing 2 lanes. Ack. I looked at my watch: 11:14 a.m.

Soon after, around 11:30, I had resumed my flight, probably close to breaking some kind of sound barrier, I'm sure.

At about 12:52 I hit the last strip of highway that was a few miles from my parents. At that point it should have been ETA: 6 minutes.

But someone had decided that today was also a great day to rip up Route 202 as well. Instead of 45 MPH, I was doing 20. I looked at my watch: 12:58.

With dread, I reached for my cell phone. My Mom answered. "Hey, Mom," I said frantically. "I'm literally 4 minutes from home. 202's really backed up..."

"Don't worry," she said. "They're doing construction. Take your time."

Whew!

At 1:04 I screetched into my parents driveway. I had to pee like nothing else.

Grabbing my coat and bag, I ran into the house, making a beeline for the bathroom. "I'll be out in just a minute," I called.

Ahhhhh, I thought as I sat down.

After that I straightened up and left the bathroom, going into the kitchen to say hello. At the kitchen table were my Mom, brother, sister, and Nanny, all pretty much wearing pajamas. I was thoroughly confused.

"Whaa...?" I sputtered. "I thought we were leaving for the city right now..."

"Well," my Mom said. "We wanted to be extra sure you wouldn't be late. So we told you 1:00."

"What time are we leaving?" I asked, in total shock.

"Not until 4:00," my sister answered.

I gasped. Shaking my head I stomped off to the basement to flop onto a couch.

"Hey, there's stuff for sandwiches if you'd like," my Mom called after me.

I didn't even bother responding. If I had, I probably would have screamed.

Oy.
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