Liz Erk (lizerk) wrote,
Liz Erk

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"Run, Lola, Run! No, WAIT...!!!"

This last week has proven QUITE eventful! When Sarah and her ex split up, the ex got the puppy that they were raising. Since Sarah had been doing most of the training, the ex did not keep up with any of it after the divorce. Hence, Lola the dog, who was less than a year old when the break-up happened, had forgotten most of her training.

Sarah had grown quite attached to this dog and was devastated at the loss of Lola when everything was over. So imagine how excited Sarah was when said ex asked her to dog sit! And imagine how thrilled I was when I discovered how wild and untrained this dog was...

Now don't get me wrong... I LOVE dogs, all kinds. And dogs typically love me. In fact, when I was younger a dog that belonged to my grandmother's neighbor that was supposed to have been put down for mangling a man's arm even loved me. He was kept in a heavily fenced in pen and tried to maim anyone who got near. But I wanted to pet this dog (his name was Boy) and so, being the little determined thing that I was, I did. I walked right up to him when I was 9 years old.

"Hello, Boy," I said.

Boy just looked at me. He was bigger than me, a mix of brown and black. Probably a mutt of Rottweiler and Boxer. Then I reached between the fence and began stroking the top of his head.

"Nooo!," my Grandmother shrieked in her thick German accent. Her, the next door neighbor Maria, and my Aunt Raisa stood 10 feet away and yelled at me to get back. But I wouldn't listen. Boy was just as sweet as anything and I just wanted to love him. He didn't rip my arm off, he just cocked his head to one side as I scratched behind his ears.

But I digress...

On Wednesday evening I pulled up to Sarah's house just in time to see her stumble down her front steps, dragged by a big black dog. Sighing, I got out of the car. It was 10:30 p.m. and I was exhausted. I wanted nothing more than to climb into bed. I didn't have an early appointment the next morning and was, instead, going to do a Spin class with one of my clients.

"Woof!" Lola barked when she saw me. Then she lunged at me, dragging poor Sarah behind her. Lola jumped up on me and I stepped back.

"Great," I groaned at Sarah. "I'm going inside, I'm really tired."

"Okay," Sarah said, trying to restrain Lola.

I went in the house and into Sarah's room. Mia and Cora both sat huddled together on the bed, wide-eyed.

"Did you see the dog?" I asked them. They just stared at me. I guessed they had.

"Thump! Thump! Thump! Thump!" Sarah and Lola came up the stairs.

"Liz, come meet Lola," Sarah called.

"Ugh," I thought. I went into the living room.

"Hi, Lola," I said with forced enthusiasm. I just wanted to sleep.

A few minutes later Sarah and I climbed into bed. Since Emersen hissed at Lola and Mia and Cora freaked at her very sight, we wound up shutting Emersen in the office and the girls in Sarah's room. That left Lola to the living room. And also made Lola very unhappy to be alone when we went to bed. Within 5 minutes she began whimpering and crying.

"She's going to do this all night," Sarah sighed.

"You can go sleep on the pull-out couch with her then," I said. "I don't mind."

I could tell Sarah wanted me to go with her, but that bed is a single, which is half the size of a twin. No way. I was too tired to get up, no less try to sleep on that thing.

Sarah went out there and went to bed, I snuggled and drifted off with the cats.

Next morning I woke up at 6:00 a.m. When my alarm chirped, Lola began barking. I stumbled out of the bed, shut it off and opened the bedroom door. I hadn't even put my glasses on. Lola was right there to jump on me, tail wagging.

"Lola, get down!" I hissed. Then I shrieked. "Yaaaaagh!" My right foot suddenly felt warm and wet. She peed on my foot!!

"Sa-RAH!" I said. "Your dog peed on me!"

"Well, she needs to be walked as soon as the first person wakes up," she answered. "Look, she loves you."

I looked at Lola with dislike, who's tail was wagging, tongue hanging out of her mouth. "Well, I don't love her. And what am I supposed to do, open my eyes and run her out the door? I don't even have my glasses on yet!"

I washed my foot, then slipped my Tevas on and hooked Lola's leash to the collar around her neck. I glanced at my watch: 6:20 a.m. I was not going to make Spin. "Come on, Lola."

Lola ran down the stairs, me clambering after. We went out and she tried to dash down the street. "Lola, calm down!"

I got Lola into the backyard and let her wander around the grass. Finally she went number two and I scooped it up into the plastic bag. It had rained the previous night, so Lola was getting all wet from the lawn. As I was tying the plastic bag shut, Lola dropped onto her back and began rolling around. "Lola, get up!" I said.

I brought her into the house and let her off the leash. She dashed into the living room and jumped on Sarah. "Liz!" Sarah yelled. "Lola's got shit all over her!"

Uh oh, she must have rolled in dog doo in the yard. "I didn't know..."

Sarah dragged Lola to the bathroom and washed her feet. Ew.

"I can't believe we have this dog until Sunday," I said angrily. "She's retarded and stinks. What kind of idiot is your ex anyway?"

Needless to say, the day did not begin on a pleasant note for us.

After I trained my morning clients I went to Petco and bought Lola some toys and shampoo. I was dreading going to Sarah's. I did NOT want to deal with this dog.

When I entered the house, Lola ran down the stairs and jumped on me. She stunk! Ew!

I took her out for a walk, but not before she was so excited she peed on the welcome mat.


After we ran and stumbled up and down the street, I took Lola back in and shut her in the bathroom. "Okay, Lo," I said. "Time to get you cleaned up. You smell."

"Pant, pant, pant!" was Lola's reply.

I lifted her front and put her in the tub. Then I turned on the water. During the 10 minutes I scrubbed her, that was the only time I witnessed this dog staying still. Hmm, at least she did something right.

As soon as we were done, I pulled a large towel and helped her out of the bath. Before I had a chance to dry her off, she shook herself out, leaving the bathroom covered in a spray of water and black hair.


After I brushed Lola, I let her out and spent the next 45 minutes washing the bathroom.

Lola really wasn't a bad dog... in fact, she was kind of cute. And I couldn't figure out why, but she really did love me. She kept following me around and even sat and watched me the entire time I washed the bathroom.

I began to feel really bad about arguing with Sarah that morning. She really loved Lola and I know it meant a lot to her to be able to have her over. So I called her up and apologized. But Sarah was even sorrier and I told her she didn't need to be. I could certainly be a lot more patient than I was. Especially given that just the day before, Mia or Cora knocked over a vase on the dining room table, spilling water all over it. Since it sat over night, it warped a section or it. I cringed as I asked Sarah how much the table cost: $900.

But Sarah was totally great about it, "It happens..."

Or 4 days before when we woke up to a loud "CRASH!" from the living room. Cora knocked over a HUGE rubber plant and shattered the pot, spreading dirt everywhere, "It happens..."

So the least I could do was tolerate Incontinent Dog.

The next few days were filled with rainy walks and wrestling matches with frisbees and tethered tennis balls. Lola was a lot of fun, minus the excited-pees on the floor.

Tonight Lola returns home to the ex's and I can't say I'm that sad. I mean, I love Lola and she has done nothing but trample me and try to lick me to death, which has stunned Sarah to no end. Apparently Lola doesn't take to new people right away. She doesn't even follow Sarah around like she does me.

But Sarah's house is too small for Lola and the weather has been nothing but crappy. We couldn't even take her out properly without getting rained on or freezing.

But I have to admit, having Lola around has made me miss the family Irish Setter, Wags, who lives with my parents. ^_^

And it certainly made me appreciate how house-trained Wags is!

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