July 14th, 2003

Mo

I'm sorry, what?

Okay, this is just the most baffling e-mail yet:

-----Original Message-----
From: win@forte.com [mailto:win@forte.com]
Sent: Monday, July 14, 2003 7:50 AM
To: Liz Erk
Subject: new mail PZnhGfdM

Русский вариант

Мы рады предложить вам новый бесплатный почтовый сервис http://www.mail15.com. Его отличительные особенности:
1) размер ящика 15 мб;
2) защищенность и надежность;
3) возможность использования любых почтовых программ(POP,IMAP,SMTP);
4) доступ из любого места в любое время;
5) простой и доступный вебинтерфейс с ПОЛНЫМ ОТСУТСТВИЕМ РЕКЛАМЫ;
6) антивирусный и антиспамовый контроль;
7) мгновенная пересылка почты.

Если вы не хотите получать более данную рассылку, пишите mailto:unsubscribe@mail15.com?subject=unsubscribe
Mo

And it continues...

From: ladan mohammed <ladanmoha@yahoo.com>
>To: Dana Munich <munichdana@hotmail.com>
>Subject: Re: I AM WAITING FOR YOUR CALL
>Date: Mon, 14 Jul 2003 02:55:13 -0700 (PDT)
>
>Dear Dana,
>
>Are you ready to do this transactions with or not?.
>
>And how many years are you? Tell me to know before we
>go further.
>
>Ladan

Dana replies:

Hello Sodomy,

I'm ready to do this transaction with you or not, but I do not see your picture. Please send so I can pray with it. Do not worry, I will not tell Mr. McDonald. He is an angry man with wild red hair, red lips and a white face. I am also scared of him because he has yellow hands and never changes his clothes. Ever. But children seem to love him.

How many years am I what? old? Or how many years have I been a french-- OOPS! FREEDOM! freedom fry maker? I'll tell you both because I just feel deep into my heart that I can trust you a little bit. I will trust you all the way when I see your picture. Do you have any pet animals? I keep a llama in my basement. Her name is Britney.

I am 41 years old and I've been with McDonald's for 19 years. Do you know when I started I was the toilet washer? I was promoted twice. The first was to dress up in the big purple Grimace costume. Now I can tell you that it is HOT in that thing! And all these damn kids would come all up in my face, all jumping on me like I'm a human set of monkey bars. But by then I was making $4.50, so I couldn't say nuthin. They were paying me the big $$!

Anyway, I await your picture.

All my blessings and peace,

Dana
Mo

Whoops!

I forgot that I replied to another one. Ladan wins because he was first to reply, but anyone who wants to play with this bozo, go for it. I won't be able to keep up with two ass hats. Tell him you're a dear friend of Dana's and that I'm too grief stricken to carry out the deal. Note the compassion in regards to Dana's poor dead husband. Also note that this guy suddenly added the title "Dr." to his name:

>From: ibehnwachinemere <ibehnwachinemere@libero.it>
>To: Dana
>Subject: DANA NEXT STEP TO TAKE
>Date: Mon, 14 Jul 2003 14:30:08 +0200
>
>DEAR DANA,
>
>I HAVE RECEIVED YOUR E-MAIL WITH THANKS. PLEASE WE HAVE TO MOVE VERY FAST IN THIS BUSINESS AS TIME IS NOT ON OUR SIDE. I AM SORRY ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND'S DEATH BUT LIFE CONTINUES. ANYWAY, I HAVE ALREADY DRAFTED OUT THE APPLICATION FOR CLAIM OF THE MONEY ON YOUR BEHALF.
>
>
>AS SOON AS I RECEIVE YOUR PRIVATE PHONE/FAX NUMBERS AND BANK DETAILS WHERE THE FUND WILL BE TRANSFERRED INTO. I WILL SUBMIT THE APPLICATION AT THE BANK WITH THOSE INFORMATION REQUESTED ABOVE ON YOUR BEHALF AND ONCE THE BANK ACKNOWLEDGE THE APPLICATION BY CONTACTING YOU OFFICIALLY REGARDING THE PAYMENT PROCEDURES, YOU KNOW THAT YOU HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED AS THE NEXT-OF-KIN TO THE DECEASED CUSTOMER MR. LOUIS CREEK, WHICH IS MY AIM OF WRITING YOU.
>
>PLEASE PROVIDE THOSE INFORMTION AND YOUR MAILING ADDRESS INCLUDED.
>
>YOU CAN CALL ME ON MY PRIVATE NUMBER: 2348033448092.
>
>I WILL BE EXPECTING YOUR URGENT RESPONSE.
>
>REGARDS,
>
>DR. IBEH NWACHINEMERE YOUNG.
>
Mo

"Here is me, for your to call your God to direct you."

HAHAHAHA! I need to get a bum line for him to call. I saw one on one of those crazy sites, so I'll tell him he's calling McDonald's...



>From: ladan mohammed <ladanmoha@yahoo.com>
>To: Dana
>Subject: For your perusal.
>Date: Mon, 14 Jul 2003 09:17:06 -0700 (PDT)
>
>Dear Dana,
>
>I am enclosing my International passport for your
>perusal and records.
>
>I must confess, I am not happy the delay on this
>transaction becasue it has a time frame.
>
>I asked you to call me, you refused. Give me your
>phone number to call you, you refused. So I dont know
>where we are heading to.
>
>Here is me, for your to call your God to direct you.
>
>Thanks,
>Ladan.
>

Dana says:

My dear sloban,

You sound rather hostile in your e-mail to me. That is very hurtful. I'm trying my best to follow God to do the right thing. Remember, I'm a single woman communicating with someone I don't know about a dead person's money. This is scary. How would you feel if you were me? I got nothing but my gold tooth and my trailer. (I enclosed a pic of my house. It's the first one behind the sign.) Can you send me a small cactus plant for my home? I would be ever so grateful.

I already told you I can't call, I have no phone. That's the same reason you can't call me. No phone to call into. I'm not trying to be difficult, I just know my limits. Besides, I think e-mail is a safe way to handle this, don't you? You can scan anything you need from me. No one will see it but me. Not even Mr. Meanie McDonald. (Don't tell him I said that!!)

So please send me what you need. I'll fill out any paperwork you ask for.

And by the way, you are a sexy man! Those glasses make me hot.

All of my love,

Dana


My home, courtesy of mizdarkgirl: