Liz Erk (lizerk) wrote,
Liz Erk

"sometimes men will ask me to ride the pigskin bus to tuna town..."

Dana's in a bit of a predicament... the LAWYER wants her to send some money. Dana decides to ask for a trade:

Dearest John,

I thank you for reacting IMMEDIATELY upon the RECEIPT OF MY MAIL.

It looks like you’re asking me to send you money. Did my lover Sodomy Mohammed, whom I CC’d on this e-mail, (Hi baby!!) not tell you about the fate of my late husband? He recently died a terrible death. He fell asleep on some train tracks and, well, it took Amtrak 6 hours to pick all of his pieces up.

I do not have a bank account, I am too poor. I have terrible credit. However, I do have a part time job I haven't even told Sadam about... there’s a street corner near my trailer. If I stand on it in nothing but a t-shirt and my underwear, sometimes men will ask me to ride the pigskin bus to tuna town and they pay me $50 each time. So maybe you and I can make a trade? I don’t think Sloban would mind (would you, baby??)

Please let me know what you think… maybe you can even be my Nigerian Barrista pimp?

Anxiously waiting,

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