Liz Erk (lizerk) wrote,
Liz Erk

"I'm going to spank you like the bad business woman you are..."

This entry continues from my previous post, in case you're tuning in late. :-)

So hottie Cab Driver Doug picked up our group of 5 in front of Cell Block E and asked us where we wanted to go. One of the salesguy says, "Where's The Crazyhorse?"

Doug smiled and said, "That's where you want to go?"

"Yeah," he said. "Let's make this night interesting."

*sigh* I've seen this before. No one had to tell me it was a strip club. What is it about bringing women to a strip club that seems to turn guys on??

Doug brought us to the club and handed me his card. "If you need a ride any place else while you're here, just give me a call."

When we entered the club, the other woman looked stricken. "Whaaaat? Why are we here??"

The salesguys just grinned. I rolled my eyes. I tried to explain it to the woman. She wasn't necessarily uncomfortable, she was just in a bit of shock. She was probably in her mid-40's.

We found some chairs and sat down. I ordered a drink and glanced at my watch. This wasn't the first time businessmen took me to a strip club, thinking they'd shock me. The first time, like that night, the people who had taken me knew absolutely nothing about me. They didn't know that I dated women and that I found strip clubs to be boring.

At one point a woman came by and said, "Would you like a dance?"

"No thank you," I said politely.

"Are you shy?" she asked. "Don't be... you'd be AMAZED what a woman can do to another woman."


"No, I'm not shy," I replied. "I've probably done more things with women than you can imagine."

"Really!" she said, smiling. "Well, why don't you find me later. I just LOVE women..." And she winked.

Two of the salesguys had heard me. "What did you say???"

Oh boy, here we go. Fascinating story-telling time. So I explained that I was bi, blah blah blah. I swear, their mouths hung open the entire time.

So after the club, we all went back to Cell Block E and went to sleep. The next day the woman and I headed over to the convention center togather. Later that morning I had to go over to the Sands convention center nearby, so I called Cab Driver Doug. When we arrived at the Sands, I asked him if he'd be available to get me at 5:00 to take me back to Circus Circus and he said he would.

5:00 rolled around and he was parked outside, as promised. I lugged my press kits to the cab, dumped them into the backseat and got in. We made small talk and then he asked me what I was doing that night. "Maybe you'd like to have dinner and go dancing?"

YES! I didn't want another night of strip club boredom, so I happily agreed. He said he'd come back to get me at 7:30, I was psyched.

While I was in my room, the place began to develop a horrible odor. I had no idea what it was, but I'm guessing a septic back-up. 7:30 could not come fast enough!

But, alas, it did and Doug arrived on time. WOW! He pulled up in a Grand Jeep Cherokee and was dressed VERY nicely. He got out and opened the door for me.

We went off to the Hard Rock Cafe for dinner, which was cool. Dinner was mostly us chatting about each other's lives. He explained to me that over the years he had launched and sold many companies. He had decided to take a break over the last few months and became a cab driver because "it didn't require much thought or effort." Made sense to me. Although with my sense of direction, I'd be fired after 2 days.

After dinner we went to Studio 54. We danced danced danced and he kept trying to get me to do shots. Ha! So I'd take them and as soon as he wasn't looking, I got rid of 'em. I only did a few, but I wasn't stupid. I know how guys can be.

At about 2:30 a.m. I got tired and asked if we could leave. He said sure and we went to the car. He asked me if I wanted to go back to the hotel or...

I thought for a moment... stinky smelly Crappus Crappus Cell Block E or Hottie Doug's house? I went with Hottie Doug's house. I wasn't that drunk and I doubted the likelihood of him being a rapist.

So we went to his house and, once again, he knocked my socks off. He had a HUGE house complete with a three car garage. We went in through the garage where a second SUV and a sports car were parked. Damn! What kind of businesses did he build???

He asked me if I wanted to go in his hot tub (which was set next to his olympic-sized pool), but I said no. I wasn't interested in traipsing around naked outside and certainly had no intention of sleeping with him. So I figured it was best to pass on that.

We fooled around a bit and he began to behave strangely. He said, "You looked so hot in your outfit when I picked you up today... I bet you can be a real bad girl."


"Oh yeah," he continued. "I'm going to spank you like the bad business woman you are..."

I nearly passed out from laughing. I couldn't help it! I felt a little bad, but come on! Honestly now. "Like the bad business woman I was???"

I told him I was tired. "Don't you want to, uh, have more fun...?" He asked.

"Well, yeah, except I have to be up at 7:30 to get to the show," I said.

"Well, okay," he agreed. He gave me a t-shirt to wear to bed and then let his dogs in the room. They were these GIANT Great Danes which I guess he lets sleep in bed with him each night. And not just on the bed, but actually with their heads on the pillows, legs spread out. On hind legs, these dogs were about 4 inches taller than me. (I'm 5'4")

So there I was drifting off to sleep at about 4:00 a.m., one dog between me and Doug, the other on Doug's other side. At one point I woke up because the dog was breathing right in my face. I turned over so I faced the other way. The next thing I knew, I went flying off the bed and onto the floor. The dog shoved me out of bed!!

I looked up and saw the dog peeking over the bed side at me. Bastard.

I stood up, saw that the dog had taken up the entire side of the bed, so I poked Doug and said, "Your dog just kicked me out of bed. Can you please move him??"

So Doug moved his dog to the end of the bed and I got back in. Then I looked at the bedside clock. 5:50 a.m. Argh. I had to be up in a little over an hour.

I fell back to sleep, but just as quickly, the alarm went off, so I got up, threw my clothes on and urged Doug to hurry up so I wouldn't be late. He drove me back to the hotel and when he dropped me off, he asked me if I'd like to "have some fun later." He followed that by a wink.

Ew. My how fast he went from Hottie to Horrid.

I wrapped up my day at the show, flew the red eye back to Boston and spent the next 3 months hating life. That job was the WORST ever. I wasn't sorry when they laid me off finally in February of '01. (But, of course, I fell into financial HELL as a result)

So as I laid in the hotel bed on Sunday night, I thought about how relieved I was to be working a job where I got to sleep in my own hotel room and fly at reasonable hours. Even when I was woken up by rowdy drunks in the hallway at 11:30 and again at 1:30 a.m., it was nothing compared to the White Trash whooping it up in the Circus Circus RV park during that trip to Vegas. Or the big bugs in the bathroom. Or the sewage smells. Or...

Whew! I'm glad that time is behind me. What a nightmare. I can't believe it's been 3 years since that trip.

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