The kicker was the "Quiz" on the back:
Thankfully I answered "no" to all of the questions.
Jess presented me with the Crazy Cat Lady "action figure" (hahaha) before we went to see the SpongeBob movie with one of her friends. (It was not my idea. I had never even seen anything SpongeBob before last night.) Of course, you all want my opinion of the movie, so I'll tell you right now: David Hasselhoff's role was very VERY disturbing. I never ever found him attractive, which made seeing parts of his body up close like that quite frightening. I was about 2 seconds away from shouting, "There goes my last remaining shred of bisexuality...!"
Otherwise SpongeBob made me laugh a few times.
But the extreme closeness of David Hasselhoff's fallen pecs and creepy back, not to mention his ape-like hairy legs??
(this photo does NOT do the horror justice)