Liz Erk (lizerk) wrote,
Liz Erk

"...Always there to tell you about a new disease, a car accident or killer bees..."

Saturday Night Live stopped being funny for me several years ago. But then suddenly along came Ashlee Simpson, followed by my new recent obsession, Debbie Downer. Now I actually look forward to flipping back and forth between SNL and MADtv. (*ahem* providing I happen to be home on a Saturday evening... I am, after all, in high-demand socially and therefore try to avoid disappointing my legions of fans by acting as a shut-in on weekends. Ha.)

"You're enjoying your day
Everything's going your way
Then along comes Debbie Downer!
Always there to tell you 'bout a new disease,
a car accident or killer bees
You'll beg her to spare you,
'Debbie, please!'
But you can't stop Debbie Downer!"

There are so many uses for the Debbie Downer reference! Typically if someone's "in a mood," I tend to call then a "Mc" name. (i.e.- yesterday one of my coworkers was in a horrendously pessimistic mood, so I called her Snarky McCynical) But with Debbie's well-known name, the possibilites are endless!

For instance, take my workout at the gym this morning. There is a member who is a chronic complainer about EVERYTHING. "The treadmills always static shock me!" or "I don't like the freeweights because there are flu germs on them!" or "the music here is uninspiring for me." She's been like this since I joined that gym in 1999.

Today I was bench pressing and I heard her ranting to another member who had asked her how her relationship was going. "Fine, except I hate Chanukah."

"What?" her friend asked, clearly baffled.

"I have to go to his family's house for Chanukah. What do I know about being Jewish? Nothing. What do I know about how to act at a Jewish dinner? Nothing."

"Yeah, but his family likes you, right?" her friend asked. "Just tell them you don't know what you're doing, ask them to explain it."

"That's too much," the woman sighed. "I mean, kosher, not kosher. Honestly. Holidays suck. His family sucks."

I sat up from my set and realized that the 15 or so people also lifting were listening, a few made faces. "Well, okay then, Debbie Downer," I quipped.

Almost everyone started laughing. "Wah waaaaaaaaaaah," another woman chimed in.

Debbie Downer frowned at me. "You have no idea."

I shrugged. Her friend laughed and said, "Come on, 'Debbie.' Let's get the Stairmaster over with."

"I'm not really that bad, am I...?" she asked as they walked away.

The Wah-Waaah woman caught my eye in the mirror. "That was too funny," she laughed.

Staring back at her, I solemnly said, "Feline AIDS is the number 1 killer of domestic cats in America."

"Oh my GOD," she cracked up.

Heh. Whatever gets me through my 5:30 a.m. workouts, I guess. Thanks, Debbie!

"Bird flu is even deadlier than SARS."
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