Liz Erk (lizerk) wrote,
Liz Erk
lizerk

"Wow, your mother must really hate you!"

The ice rink where my hockey practices are held also offers public skating during the week in the middle of the day. I decided to go today and work on stopping and overall speed conditioning.

I was so excited when I walked in and saw that the skaters were mostly little kids with their parents. Definitely a welcomed difference from the last public skating "adventure."

I wore my shin and knee pads under a pair of baggy hockey pants as well as my elbow pads over my shirt. I didn't care how I looked, I didn't want to bash my knees or elbows for the sake of not looking silly.

Round and round I went for a little over an hour. I practiced stopping every time I completed a full run around the rink. Within 20 minutes I wanted to scream with joy: I'd successfully began stopping on my blade edges by quickly turning my body and my skates.

As my confidence increased, I moved to the center of the ice and practiced skating backwards. At one point I began going pretty fast and realized I had a new problem: how the hell do you stop going backwards????

I was headed for the traffic flow going around the rink, so in a panic I tried to turn my skates sideways in efforts to stop. Instead, I spun around like an out of control top, but by some miracle I didn't fall and managed to regain control of myself. Whew!

When I was done with skating I sat on a bench outside of the ice to take off my gear and dry my blades. I was in the middle of putting one of my skate guards on when these two obnoxious 12 year olds decided to get in my face. And I'm not kidding.

A buck-toothed, bean pole of a kid leaned in and started going, "Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!"

I just stared up at him. WTF?

Then his chubby Asian friend did the same thing, except he moved his head in jerking motions with each word. "Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! My name's Blue! What's your name?"

I couldn't believe I was being taunted by a pair of 12 year old boys. My gut instinct was to shove them both, but I had no idea if they had parents present. The last thing I needed was to be arrested for assaulting children. So instead, I decided to insult the Asian kid.

"Your name's Blue?" I asked. "Wow, your mother must really hate you!"

They both stopped talking and the Asian kid just blinked at me stupidly. Then they both walked away.

I shook my head. "Idiots," I muttered.

On my way out of the arena Bucky Bean Pole ended up being in front of me. To my surprise, he held the door for me. "Thanks," I said.

"You're welcome," he muttered, but didn't make eye contact with me.

Weirdos. Maybe it's a New Hampshire thing? ;-)
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