Today I have "All the Best" in a folder, which is 33 of Tina's greatest songs. Included in that line-up is Private Dancer. At the same time I was listening to it on WinAmp, my friend popped up on IM to say "hi." She reminded me of one of our crazy nights out and then I suddenly remembered a night out almost exactly 8 years ago that involved Tina Turner's "Private Dancer."
Break-ups of first relationships are almost always a dramatic event that can typically drag on for anywhere from weeks to months. My own break-up with my first girlfriend at the time was no exception. And because it involved two girls, you can only imagine the Melrose Place-worthy drama that ensued.
In efforts to cheer me up, 3 of my college friends tried to keep me occupied. On one such night they suggested we went bar hopping in downtown Boston. Now mind you, break-ups can often lead to loss of appetite. At that time it was the end of my junior year in school, so I was working as a part-time merchandising assistant for The GAP and the Friday night they proposed we went out, I had just come off an 8 hour shift. I did not eat anything since I'd clocked in at 2:00 p.m. that afternoon.
As soon as I clocked out, I met my friends outside. We hit 3 bars over the course of 2 hours. The 4th location was a place called The Purple Shamrock in Faneuil Hall. (aka- Quincy Market) Apparently it was karaoke night that evening and since (for reasons I don't recall) we had been singing Private Dancer all week, we requested the song. Our group was three girls and one guy, so we girls were going to sing the song.
Now here's the thing: I'd had about 3 drinks and only a few bites of random bar food over the course of the night, so I was a little buzzed. But the MC didn't call our song until about 40 min. after we requested it, which meant more drinks for me until then.
And let me tell you, by the time he called us, I WAS Tina Turner.
I'm not kidding. I don't remember all of it, but I remember enough. And the guy that was with us took pictures. I was promised copies, but never received them, so sadly I can't share them with you. But here's how it went down:
There were two microphones, three of us, and the teleprompter. Since my 5+ drinks made me into Tina Turner, I deserved my own mic and I didn't need that teleprompter. Afterall, I knew all the lyrics!
While my two friends huddled in front of the teleprompter screen and shared the other mic, I strutted back and forth across the stage, belting out the words, and gesturing for emphasis. And according to my friends, I got all the lyrics right and had the entire bar watching.
As soon as the song ended, I handed the mic to the MC, hopped off the stage, walked past my friends while cheerfully calling out over my shoulder, "I'll be right back!"
I made it to the bathroom just in time to throw up.
I'm not sure how long I was in there until my friends came to check on me, but apparently I'd graduated from face-in-the-toilet to sitting on the bowl and multi-tasking. Yes, I was peeing and puking into the toilet at the same time. And I didn't get anything on myself or my clothes.
That night was the first time I'd ever gotten sick from drinking. Sadly, it wasn't the last. But hey, it lead to my first karaoke experience ever. See? There's a silver lining for everything.