Liz Erk (lizerk) wrote,
Liz Erk

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You know your party's a smashing success when...

... your 50+ year old male neighbor with saggy boobs from 2 doors down calls the police.

Yep. But we'll get to that.

The Fishies loved the house. It was definitely a cool set up. I had a decent snack spread in the dining room (complete with strobe light) and all of their personalized CD's layed out. As everyone relaxed, we popped open some beers, mixed some drinks, cracked open the sodas, started dancing, and just had an all-around good time.

About an hour or so later everyone was ready for Karaoke. But, as ready as everyone was, no one wanted to go first. So, I ended up volunteering myself. With my voice still a little garbled from the flu residuals, I belted out "Toy Soldier" by Martika. (Talk about 1987 flashback! I felt like I was 10 all over again...!)

For the next couple of hours we all took turns singing various songs. A few Fishies went outside to smoke. Me being absolutely adamant about not smoking, made the smokers not only go outside, but into the street. I was not going to have the smoke get sucked in by the window fans. Blech.

While Erica, Rebecca, Kerissa, myself, and a couple of others were in the middle of giving a rendition of "Baby Got Back" worthy of a least 4 stars from Star Search, the smokers came running in.

"Yo, Liz," one of 'em said. "Your crazy neighbor just came out and yelled at us."

"What?" I lowered the song.

"Yeah," she continued. "Dude, he came out in nothing but boxers. He said, 'will you shut up! The police are on their way...'"

I started laughing. I knew the neighbor they were referring to. This guy was about 50 or so and had a belly and rather large saggy boobs. He's out mowing the lawn or cutting hedges at the butt crack of dawn every other day. There have been a couple of Saturday mornings where the temptation to throw rocks at him was too great.

The younger fishies who were a tad inexperienced in dealing with anal suburban neighbors got panicky. Plus I could tell they were thinking about Kaitlin, the underage Fishy. "The police...???"

"Guys," I said. "Don't worry about it. I'll handle it. I have my i.d., they're simply going to ask for the head of the household, and ask us to keep it down. We have to keep the music down and shut the windows for now."

I knew the police would be by shortly if they really had been called. Except for the occasional firecrackers set off on the school playground, Watertown's relatively boring. So this was probably going to be the most excitement the police had all night.

For effect, I even traded my Corona for a Caffeine Free Diet Coke. 5 minutes later there was a knock at the door. I winked at everyone and went to it.

"Who is it?" I called out.

"Watertown police," a male voice answered.

"Oh!" I replied, trying to sound surprised. I pulled open the door. Two hottie male officers were standing there. "Yes?"

"We received a complaint about a lot of noise coming from this place," one said. "Are you the owner?"

"Yes, I am," I said. "A complaint? Really?" I turned and looked at the silent group. Then turned back to the officers. The one officer on the right looked at my beverage. A few other Fishies had done the same thing I did, so I had a room full of angelic-looking guests all taking sips from Sprite, Coke, water, etc.

"Oh!" I said, suddenly sounding like I'd had some great realization. "Did the guy two houses down call? This is my housewarming party and a group of people had just arrived. We were outside saying hello and he came out in nothing but boxers and yelled at us to shut up."

The officers started laughing. "Yes, it was him."

One of the officers peered inside and smiled at my mirror ball and said to his partner, "Wow, did you see this place?" The other officer took a look.

Then the first officer asked, "What, do you have a rave going on in here?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes," I laughed. "Right here in my living room, but now you've busted it. Thanks a lot..."

They laughed. "Welcome to the neighborhood. Just keep it down. What's your last name?"

"Erk," I replied. "E - R - K. That's my yellow SUV in the driveway. Good night, guys."

I shut the door and turned to the group. No one said anything until we heard the police drive off.

"Wow, Liz!" Tiff said. "I'm impressed...! A housewarming! Caffeine free and all!"

I shrugged my shoulders and grinned. "I told you it wasn't a big deal. And now you know why I'm successful at PR. I'm a bullshitter by nature, so I've made a career out of it." I winked at everyone and they started laughing.

Then this one girl, Vicks, who I SWEAR they modeled the "One Time at Band Camp..." character in that movie, American Pie after began telling a story about getting busted for alcohol. She cracked us up, yet drove us crazy. She'd tell these long winded stories that really had no real outcome or point.

Everytime she'd tell a story we'd say to one another, "And this one time, at band camp..."

The party continued on until about 4:00 a.m. When I'd orginally planned for the party I had requested that everyone bring $7 to contribute for everything. But as the night was continuing on, I was so happy to have everyone, I turned the music down and called a toast.

We all set ourselves up. I had a bottle of After Shock sitting in my freezer and decided to crack it open. I'd never had it before, so I took a sniff. Wow, it smelled like cinnamon. Never thought I'd ever smell a shot and actually look forward to it!

We all got our respective beverages together and raised them. I said, "hey, guys. I'm really glad you all were able to join me this weekend. And no one worry about money. This party is my gift to all of you." I smiled.

People were stunned. "No, Liz..."

"Yep!" I insisted. "I want you all to just have a good time."

We clinked bottles, glasses, and cups and took our drinks. On went the party.

Finally we all began to settle down. Some of us were still wide awake, so we let the tired fishies settle on the living room floor. 6 of us alll went upstairs and climbed in my bed to talk a while longer. Then 3 left for downstairs and 3 of us went to sleep in my bed.

People started waking up a few hours later and began to leave around 10:30. The weekend was winding down.

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