Liz Erk (lizerk) wrote,
Liz Erk

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While You Were Sleeping...

I swear this scenario, or something pretty damn close took place on Thursday night.

Liz, after a very exhausting day, finally settles down on the living room pull out couch's bed to sleep. Lulu snuggles next to Liz and purrs while Liz lazily strokes her fur and drifts into slumber. Soon the petting stops and Liz's breathing becomes very deep.

Lulu peeks her head up and examines Liz for a moment, then calls out in a loud whisper, "Francis! Psst! Hey-- Francis...!"

Poking her head up from the top of the couch where she'd perched herself for the night, Francis sleepily replies, "What?"

"She's asleep!"

"So?" Francis yawns and rolls over.

"Well, she probably hasn't gotten more than a few hours of sleep combined this entire week. I bet she's dead to the world," Lulu says.

"Big deal. She's tired. I would be, too." Francis rolls back onto her stomach.

"Yeah, but that means she won't hear anything! Now's our chance!" Lulu carefully stands up, moving away from Liz.

"To do what?" Francis asks, puzzled.

"To go into the kitchen, open the top cabinets and knock everything out of it!" Lulu exclaims.

"Ohhh!" Francis says. "But why would we want to do that?"

"Because it's fun. And we're so cute, she'll never be mad! And when we're through, we can shit on the living room floor!"

"I dunno, Lulu," Francis says doubtfully. "She's been really tired. I don't think she'll be too thrilled to clean up our mess."

"Aw, come on, Francis! Don't be such a baby! How often do we get full run of a big house like this??"

"True," Francis replies. "Okay, but afterwards, I'm hiding out in her pants closet for a long time!"

"Suit yourself!" Lulu says. "Let's go!"

So for the next few hours Lulu got herself into everything she could. She leaped up onto the counter, shoved open a high cabinet door that was slightly ajar, and proceeded to empty the contents of the shelves. Packs of gum, plastic cups, spice bottles, birthday candles, and napkins littered the floor.

Francis merely sat on the floor, batting around the napkins. At one point Lulu shoved out a little jar of baby food, leftover from when Liz had had her wisdom teeth out the previous summer. It roll off the shelf, hit a half full can of Caffeine Free Diet Coke, causing it to tip and empty out onto the counter and floor.

"Oops!" Lulu said. "Hmm. Maybe that's enough."

"Okay, " Francis said. "But that was fun!"

"Whatever," Lulu said. "You just scattered napkins. I did all the work."

Giggling, Francis ran for the living room, then scooted up the stairs, two at a time. She carefully entered Liz's office and nudged the pants closet door open. After surveying its contents, she leaped up onto a suitcase and stepped down onto a storage bin located behind it. After a few minutes she curled up into a ball and fell asleep.

Meanwhile, Lulu stood in the middle of the living room, trying to decide where she shood deficate. Finally she settled on an area a few feet from the litter box.

After conducting her business, she leaped back onto the pullout couch, settling next to Liz's right side. Purring gently, she nudged Liz until she felt a hand gently stroking the fur under her chin.

"Ha," thought Lulu. "I'm such a badass. I have officially taken over the house!"

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