Liz Erk (lizerk) wrote,
Liz Erk
lizerk

..."What if"... "I wish"... "If only..."

As we cruise along the highway, music blaring, rain pattering on the windshield, I steal a glance at you, only to see that your eyes are already on me. Our gaze meets briefly, then I turn my attention back to the road before us.

Are you feeling what I feel? Is your heart pounding at the thought of the kisses we've shared? Does your mind wander off into a universe of "what if's, I wish, and if only's?"

I feel goose bumps errupt as you gently slip your hand over mine. Your fingers trail up and weave in and out of my own, causing me to believe that perhaps you can read my mind.

My thoughts begin to cast adrift... touching upon random memories we've shared in such a short time... a picnic on a bluff... giggling at silly stories over the phone... late night chats about nothing and everything... I bite my lower lip to steady my emotions.

"File those thoughts away," my logical mind orders me. "You should never have experienced them to begin with."

Renewing my focus, I switch CD's and glance at you again. Our eyes meet, my guard wavers. The twinkle in your beautiful blue eyes causes me to slowly spread my lips into a grin. When was the last time anyone ever made me smile so much? I decide I really can't remember.

We pull into the airport parking lot and gather all of your luggage. Stumbling to the ticket counter, we happily turn the bags over to the airline agent. Slowly we make our way to the gate.

As I sit next to you, my eyes search your face, making a mental photocopy of each feature. Do you know how beautiful you are? Do you even have any idea that you've captured my heart?

To my surprise, your lips brush my cheek. I smile at you, then look away. "You're not crying," my logical mind informs me. "Time to return to reality, this is not possible."

Very quietly I sigh, putting my face in my hands.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I slowly take a deep breath. Then raise my head as they page the boarding of your flight.

We both stand up, embrace, then our lips gently touch. We hug tighter, kiss again, then part ways as you head toward the gate.

My heart yells, "No! Wait! Stop! I have something to tell you!"

I watch your back grow smaller as my feet stay still. I clench my car keys, swallow slowly.

"Go! Run! Before it's too late! You need to say it. Who cares about the world around you? Fate is fate. You'll be sorry...!"

I blink hard, you disappear through the door. I turn away, slowly walk toward the exit. My fingers trace the outline of my keys and I suddenly feel tired. Everything's quiet inside me... my thoughts still, my heart steady.

Climbing into my car, I switch CD's to a more mellow mix. Backing out of my spot, I turn my head and look out the back window to watch a plane take off. Is that you? I wonder.

And as the plane taxis down the runway and ascends into the fading evening sky, my heart utters a whisper... "I think I'm falling in love with you..."
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